Diary of a Fat Mom

I’m really starting to finally believe that saying..no excuses. It took me some time, but I am learning to embrace it for the first time in my life! I’ve been secretly full of excuses for 36 yrs now! Here are a few;I’m fat because it’s in my genes; I gave birth to 6 kids; I am addicted to sweets; God never intended on me being skinny; you’ve got to die one  day, why not die happy; what if I lost all the weight and then died in some kind of accident anyway! The list goes on and on and on. Honestly, you probably know what I’m talking about. What are some of your excuses? Are you ready to let them go? Someone told me on my YouTube page that I will not lose weight right now because I’m not “desperate enough”. I thought about it and I must say that I agree to some extent. If I knew for sure that I would die in a week if I did not eat and exercise perfectly the entire week, then guess what, I would eat and exercise perfectly for the entire week!! I don’t want to wait for something bad to happen for me to get serious! There really is no excuse for me to continue to live the way that I have. Its my choice to put those foods into my mouth, and definitely my choice not going to the gym every day when I have a paid membership, gas in the car and I don’t work right now! This is going to be my year, I promise! I’m claiming a 150 lb loss in the name of Jesus! He died for our sins so that we would have no more excuses for sin, and overeating and not taking care of his temple is a sin, plain and simple. Everyday from now on I’m going to get up and write on my mirror, No Excuses! Come on, are you with me? Why don’t you do it too!! Let’s get healthy together! Join me on www.myfitnesspal.com and let’s encourage each other to log in our exercise and our food! Let’s hold each other accountable! Let the rest of this year, as a matter of fact, the rest of your life, be a No Excuses existence! We are strong, intelligent, beautiful women! Wonderfully, and carefully made! It’s nothing that we can not do when we put our minds to it! I’m so ready you guys, soooo….let’s go!!!

I’ve been getting a LOT of questions about what is juicing, how to juice, how much to juice, what to juice, have you done the master cleanse, blueprint diet, is juicing really a cleansing of the body, etcetera, etcetera! I’ve been a little overwhelmed with so many questions and even though I’ve tried to answer them all, I know that some people have not gotten a response just because it’s not enough time in the day for me, lol. So I’ve done some additional research and I’ve found a website that gives a clear, concise report on all of the different types of cleanses! It’s called A GUIDE TO COMMON CLEANSES, and I’ve read through it and I find it to be very helpful, hopefully you will too! Let me know what you think, here is the link:

http://www.everydayhealth.com/diet-and-nutrition-pictures/a-guide-to-common-cleanses.aspx#/slide-1

Well, I went as far as I felt that I could go on the juice fast. I honestly thought that I could make it to 25 days but on day 20, the start of day 20, I lost all resolve! I was having all kind of irrational thoughts like what if I died that night and never got a chance to eat dinner with my husband and kids again! Crazy right? Well, needless to say, thoughts like that catapulted me into actions that I have now grown to regret. With all of my careful thoughts and planning concerning breaking the fast the CORRECT way, it only took smelling real food right in front of me to lose all resolve of breaking the fast with raw food! My meal consisted of sauteed mushrooms, salmon salad, and creamed spinach! Oh, and a piece of garlic toast, a nice sized piece at that. Sadly, every since then, it’s been downhill from there. I have not been eating a lot of food, but I’ve been eating a lot of the wrong foods. I still love my sweets! I have struggled these last four days to not eat ice cream and cookies and cheesecake, and I’ve lost big time! The fast was obviously not long enough, and that’s why I’m planning on restarting next week. I love, absolutely LOVE the feeling that I had while fasting on fresh fruit and vegetable juice. NOTHING compares to that feeling! I’m a little sad and slightly depressed that I am still struggling with my food addictions, I would think that 19 days without food would teach me some kind of discipline! Oh well, onward and upward..my journey continues. I’m too scared to get on the scale and see that the 30lbs that I lost has been most likely re-gained. However, I am excited to know that when all else fails that I can always run back to juicing! I stand by what I’ve been saying all along..this girl will be juicing for life!!!!:)

Yup, it’s day 13 and I’ve been SERIOUSLY contemplating breaking my fast today! The ONLY thing that’s stopping me from breaking it for a huge bowl of garden salad(I’m craving healthy stuff, yayyy)..is the fact that I’m 4 lbs lighter than my last weigh in on Wednesday! WHOOP WHOOP! It’s like MAGIC! I’m honestly amazed! I’m expecting it to start slowing down, but every time I step on the scale there is a loss! So, no matter how much I miss just chewing real food, as long as I continue to feel good and see weight loss, I will keep going! I do plan on stopping for awhile on day 25. Now, if only my heart can match my mind! It’s going to be a L O N G 12 days…:/

I first want to start off by apologizing for not putting up a day four blog, I totally forgot! I was at the gym making a weigh in Wednesday video and then I had to rush home to upload it before midnight! Day four was GREAT for me! Not much hunger pains, no real cravings, etc. Today however, day five, a BEAST! I’ve been hungry all day just about, really missing food, and craving stupid things like pop tarts, that I normally don’t even eat! I also had some very sad news given to me and had to rush to the hospital to visit with that person. I’ve been crying like a baby, but I understand that usually when I’m sad, upset, etc, I run to food. I can’t do that now, so the tears are flowing. I know that I did not drink as much juice as I was supposed to today due to the emergency, but I did get in plenty of water and I had some herbal tea. I just finished a conference call with my subscribers from YouTube and it was a wealth of information, which inspired me to keep pushing forward. I thank God for my YouTube subscribers, because if it were not for them supporting me and understanding the struggle, I just know that I would not had made it past day 3! Moving forward, I am actually looking forward to day six because it’s just GOT TO BE better than today!!:)

So far so good! This is just a quick update so that I don’t forget to get back on later. I am amazed that I have not had any cravings really! I have to remind myself to drink up! I have had episodes of crying over nothing, but like a dear friend said to me, I’m having to learn to deal with my emotions without running to food right now! So I guess it’s okay to cry, lol!

I am feeling stronger mentally, and I’m really starting to see that this is going to be a major factor in my weight loss efforts and consequently, new lifestyle changes! I plan on going to a water class tonight, we’ll see. I at least want to go into the sauna, I read that it’s important to have avenues to help get the toxins out of your body, and sweating seems like just the right avenue today!

So, onward, and upward, or something like that, lol. Bring on Day four because I am soooo ready!!!:)

I woke up this morning feeling lighter!!  That is a good sign and I will need more of that please, lol! Day two turned into a water fast for me because I slept in late because the kids were out of school. By the time I looked at the clock and thought about juicing, it was 1pm. So, I figured that I would shoot for a water fast!! It really was not as hard as I thought it would be.  It’s only now that I’m starting to get a headache and my bad knee just started hurting! Hopefully that is a sign that it’s healing!! I am really looking forward to, and even craving, some good fresh fruit juice in the morning. I think that I will juice collard greens with an orange, apple, and pineapples!!  Yum!! I will update you all again tomorrow, but please check out my video that I just put up on YouTube! It’s a more complete update on my day 2 experience!!:)